That’s how I would best describe my experience with the original Satisfyer Pro 2. When I first tried it, a year or so ago, I felt a little guilty for liking it. Pegged as a knock off of the Womanizer*, it had several fatal flaws, yet within half an hour of putting it down it would call to me from my bedside table…another round? I know you want it, and your nether regions are craving it again already.
The Satisfyer Pro 2 had a well-earned spot in my top drawer of favourites – so when the the wonderful people at shevibe gave me a chance to review the Satisfyer Pro 2: Next Generation** I couldn’t wait to see if they had improved upon my flawed friend. Had they made some of the fairly obvious improvements needed to clamber to the pinnacle of clit caressing?
*I should say the ORIGINAL Womanizer knock off, as now there are a wide range of brands offering ‘suction’ like devices. Satisfyer have also ‘diversifyed’ into a wider range of toys, thus becoming more of a brand in their own right.
**Yes. You read right. The Satisfyer Pro 2. After skipping an initial ‘Pro’ version and going straight to ‘Pro 2’, they then named the next version of the device also ‘Pro 2’. Because, of course, this will not confuse anyone ever. As far as naming conventions go, Xbox ain’t got anything on this company. At least the latest version is called ‘Satisfyer Pro 2: Next Generation’ to make it slightly easier to differentiate.
Pressure Wave Stimulation
The Satisfyer Pro 2 is a ‘suction’ toy that essentially uses air pressure to stimulate the clitoris – without touch! Why they emphasize the ‘no touch’ factor with such gusto I do not know. Is it some kind of ‘Gods loophole’ logic, where if it doesn’t touch your clit it doesn’t count as masturbating?
The advantage of air pressure stimulation over using a typical vibrator is that it can avoid numbing your genitals during longer sessions. It also just feels different – and I’m all for finding new ways to get the clit off! I have heard some describe such devices as an ‘oral sex simulator’. I don’t think this is a helpful comparison, as it really doesn’t have the range of sensation that can be provided by a decent cunnilinguist. I guess it feels vaguely like when someone sucks on your clit just as you are about to reach orgasm (a move I have only experienced from grand master pussy lickers…. *starts gazing out the window*…the memories…)
The Satisfyer looks like an ear thermometer, and using it feels pretty much just as clinical…until you start cumming like crazy.
The round silicone head goes around your clitoris and creates a ‘seal’, thus making it possible for the device to oscillate the air pressure around your clit to stimulate it. Some people use a little water based lube to improve the seal but I find it doesn’t make much difference for me. I find the silicone on the head of the Satisfyer Pro 2 much more comfortable and easy to make a seal with that of the Womanizer (I’d like to do another post on this at some point). This is because the silicone is softer and the sides are thicker, thus creating a larger surface area which can then conform to the curves of my body to make a seal. I suspect this could be body dependent though, as depending on your labia the smaller ‘footprint’ of the Womanizer head could be an advantage (yes, I just peeked at my vag to think that one through…these are the things I do for you)
Don’t worry if at first you struggle with figuring out if it is sealed or not. There is a bit of a learning curve with this toy. If you are not sure, try putting the intensity up, as it’s easier to tell if you’ve got it when its roaring away. Speaking of which – the volume also goes down significantly when the head is covered so that should be another clue.
Once I’ve got the head in the right place, and turned it on, I lie there feeling like the 21st century has turned me into a lazy souless masturbator. For the first wee while I don’t feel much of anything, and then, a minute or two in, it starts feeling GREAT! Suddenly I stop lying there like a robot-on-standby and start writhing a bit. This ride has got a bit more fun. I find it also helps to put one hand over my lower abdomen and pull upwards a bit. I suspect this action might move my clitoral hood slightly or something – in any case it gets me into that ‘feeling great’ zone even faster.
The best thing about suction toys is not just how quickly they can get you to the edge of orgasm (just a few minutes), but how long they can keep you on the edge. With vibrators I find it much more difficult to extend that pre-climax window where everything is feeling awesome but you haven’t peaked yet. With the Satisfyer, that seems to happen without trying particularly hard. What is even more astounding is that I can keep using it even while I start to spasm and get sensitive as I’m coming back down from climax. I have to turn the toy down to one of the lowest settings so that it’s not too intense, but the gentle settings are really nice during this phase (which is normally the only time I use them).
The Satisfyer Pro 2: Next Generation has improved on the previous model in the following areas:
- Lower initial intensity levels and improved range
- The ability to cycle up and down through levels
- Reduced noise (at least on the lowest settings anyway)
On my first Satisfyer, the lowest setting was about as wild a ride as I could handle. With this version they have reduced the intensity of the initial setting significantly, while still packing a powerful punch at the higher range. I still think 11 settings are more than anyone really needs, but the range is much more usable and you can actually cycle through them.
At lot of reviews of ‘suction’ type toys have users orgasming on the lowest of settings. However, for me the lowest setting wasn’t enough to get me there. This could be impatience or just my wiring (anti-depressants have taken a toll), but I’m not too disappointed by this. Where the lower settings shine is during and directly after orgasm when you get really sensitive. I will use maybe setting 4 or 5 to get to a roaring orgasm, and then go down to a lower setting to ride out and extend the orgasm, and can even continue to use the toy during the overly sensitive ‘don’t touch me’ phase and then ramp up again when the sensitivity passes. Magic!
I haven’t used the highest settings because they are more intense than I need and it can get uncomfortable, but I like having more power available than I really need. Stops me from getting the FOMO.
One thing I have noticed on some of the lower settings is that the toy can ‘struggle’ a little. The suction appears to be created by the movement of a diaphragm. When the opening is pressed hard up against a surface (so air can’t easily be pushed in and out) the diaphragm appears to not fully push back and forth, and it makes it gurgle a bit. However, my clit doesn’t seem to mind, so it doesn’t appear to affect functionality. It just makes the toy seem a bit ‘cheap’ (aka the Womanizer doesn’t seem to have this issue…just saying).
Another thing that isn’t so great is that when you are going down through the settings there is quite a big drop between level 2 and level 1. It is easy enough to go back up again I guess, but I do find it a little jarring. If you are going to have 11 settings you would expect there to be less of a jump between these two levels.
The Satisfyer Pro 2: Next Generation has two buttons. There is an independent on off button, which I consider a feature worth having. I’m unlikely to need to turn it off in a hurry, but I don’t think its unusual for people to have stealth wanking anxiety. The larger ‘setting’ button allows you to cycle up and down through the levels by pressing on either end of it.
The setting button has a satisfying click so you know when you have pushed it. It is a tad firm though, so depending on your grip and angle it can be a little hard to push with your index finger. The + and – signs are embossed on the button so they are not easy to see, however you typically wouldn’t look at them in use, instead feeling them out with a crafty finger. My finger is not crafty enough to easily feel the difference between the + and -, but pushing the button towards the head to turn it ‘up’ feels intuitive to me, so I haven’t been confused when using it.
The ‘orgasms to battery charge’ ratio on this thing is pretty fantastic. On the previous model I went months without needing to charge it despite regular use. Part of this is because it can induce an orgasm in 2 minutes, therefore requiring little energy output ‘per orgasm’. The battery does seem pretty reasonable at holding charge though.
The Satisfyer Pro 2 charges via a USB port, using a magnetic charging cable that attaches to two discrete electrical contacts at the end of the toy. Magnetic chargers sound cool, and make it easier to make the device fully waterproof, however I am not 100% sold on them for sex toys. Most people want to hide their sex toys in a drawer while charging. However with magnetic chargers any tangential force on the cable or connector may pull the electrodes apart and stuff up the charging. So when you shove your toy in the drawer the cable is bound to get caught on something, or pushed at the wrong angle, and stop the damn thing charging.
The Satisfyer Pro 2 cable isn’t perfect, but they have somewhat engineered around this problem. The magnetic attraction is fairly strong so the charger clips on nicely. The electrodes on the charging cable have a large curved surface which makes them much more forgiving. If the cable is bent on an angle the electrodes can slide around and still maintain contact with the electrodes on the toy. Its not perfect, but I love little touches like this which improve performance. At the end of the day, I still think fostering a ‘sex positive’ home environment solves so many potential problems – but until we reach that utopia at least you can still get your Satisfyer charged without having to put it on a decorative plinth.
The Satisfyer Pro 2 is fully submersible which makes it fairly easy to clean. Soap and water seems to work just fine. The silicone head pops off so you can clean it separately. As it is silicone you can even sterilise it in boiling water if you want to. The body of the toy is a bit more complicated, however since the toy is fully waterproof you can run warm water into the head of the toy without worrying about breaking it (I wouldn’t use boiling water though, as I’m not sure what the diaphragm is made of and I wouldn’t want to melt it). Most of the lube and other fluids only end up on the removable head though. One time when I was doing a sex toy ‘spring clean’ I soaked my Satisfyer overnight using steriliser tablets (the ones sold for sterilising baby bottles) and it came out just fine. So that might be an option for those who want to be ‘extra sure’.
Where to find it
SheVibe now ships to New Zealand! Unfortunately, you still have to go to through the checkout to find out how much postage costs. At the time of writing the shipping to NZ for a Satisfyer Pro 2 was ~$30NZD. However, SheVibe is a pretty badass store so you might find something else to make the postage worth your while, like a casual adult colouring book. I know my coffee table needs one.
Quick Specs: Satisfyer Pro 2
|Measurements||Length: 6.5 inches, Depth: 2.5 inches (head), .75 inches (tip), Width: 1 inch (tip), 2 inches (base)|
|Material||ABS plastic and silicone|
|Power source||Rechargeable Li-Ion battery with magnetic charging cable|
|Controller||on/off button and +/- intensity controller|
|remembers last setting used when turned off and on again?||no|